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 // www.MaXeline.hu / Extrák / Keresőoptimalizálás / SEO és egyéb tudásbázis, fogalomtár / Geek viccek angolul

Geek viccek angolul

 

  • * There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't
  • * If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0
  • * I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly
  • * My software never has bugs. It just develops random features
  • * Roses are #FF0000 , Violets are #0000FF , All my base belongs to you
  • * In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
  • * Hand over the calculator, friends don't let friends derive drunk
  • * I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code
  • * Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
  • * The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX
  • * A penny saved is 1.39 cents earned, if you consider income tax
  • * Unix, DOS and Windows...the good, the bad and the ugly
  • * A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila
  • * The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong
  • * UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity
  • * Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
  • * C://dos
  • C://dos.run
  • run.dos.run
  • * You know it's love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead
  • * JUST SHUT UP AND REBOOT!!
  • * 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d
  • * Alcohol & calculus don't mix. Never drink & derive
  • * How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  • * There is only one satisfying way to boot a computer
  • * Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button
  • * It's not bogus, it's an IBM standard
  • * Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
  • * The farther south you go, the more dollar stores there are
  • * Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers
  • * The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers
  • * If you want a language that tries to lock up all the sharp objects and fire-making implements, use Pascal or Ada: the Nerf languages, harmless fun for children of all ages, and they won't mar the furniture
  • * COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
  • * Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
  • * LISP = Lots of Irritating Silly Parentheses
  • * The beginning of the programmer's wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program
  • * Squash one bug, you'll see ten new bugs popping
  • * Everytime i time i touch my code, i give birth to ten new bugs
  • * boast = blogging is open & amiable sharing of thoughts
  • * We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again
  • * Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted
  • * If it weren't for C, we'd all be programming in BASI and OBO
  • * Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
  • * Bad or corrupt header, go get a haircut
  • * Unrecognized input, get out of the class
  • * Warning! Buffer overflow, close the tumbler !
  • * WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup... PENCIL & PAPER
  • * Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
  • * Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
  • * Best file compression around: "rm *.*" = 100% compression
  • * Hackers in hollywood movies are phenomenal. All they need to do is "c:\> hack into fbi"
  • * BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
  • * I survived an NT installation
  • * The name is Baud......James Baud
  • * My new car runs at 56Kbps
  • * Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
  • * File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
  • * Cannot read data, leech the next boy's paper? (Y/N)
  • * CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
  • * Does fuzzy logic tickle?
  • * Helpdesk : Sir, you need to add 10GB space to your HD , Customer : Could you please tell where I can download that?
  • * Windows: Just another pane in the glass
  • * Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
  • * RAM disk is not an installation procedure
  • * Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
  • * The truth is out there...anybody got the URL?
  • * Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
  • * E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage
  • * Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
  • * All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
  • * Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
  • * Once I got this error on my Linux box: Error. Mouse not attached. Please left click the 'OK' button to continue
  • * Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
  • * Press every key to continue
  • * Helpdesk: Sir if you see the blue screen, press any key to continue. Customer : hm.. just a min.. where's that 'any key'..
  • * Idiot, Go ahead, make my data!
  • * Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources
  • * To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so
  • * (001) Logical Error CLINTON.SYS: Truth table missing
  • * Clinton:/> READ | PARSE | WRITE | DUMP >> MONKIA.SYS
  • * (D)inner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
  • * Computers can never replace human stupidity
  • * A typical Yahoo! inbox : Inbox(0), Junk(9855210)
  • * (A)bort, (R)etry, (P)anic?
  • * Bugs come in through open Windows
  • * Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun
  • * Unix is user friendly...its just selective about who its friends are
  • * Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity
  • * Bell Labs Unix -- Reach out and grep someone.
  • * To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.
  • * Invalid password : Please enter the correct password to (Abort / Retry / Ignore )
  • * FUBAR - where Geeks go for a drink
  • * I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm just not attracted to her anymore
  • * Scandisk : Found 2 bad sectors. Please enter a new HD to continue scanning
  • * Black holes are where God divided by zero
  • * Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
  • * Thank god, my baby just compiled
  • * Yes! My code compiled, and my wife just produced the output
  • * Windows 98 supports real multitasking - it can boot and crash simultaneously
  • * Zap! And there was the blue screen !
  • * Please send all spam to my main address, root@localhost :-)
  • * MailerD(a)emon: You just received 9133547 spam. (O)pen all, (R)ead one by one, (C)heck for more spam
  • * A: Can you teach me how to use a computer? B: No. I just fix the machines, I don't use them
  • * PayPal: Your funds have been frozen for 668974 days
  • * 1-800-404 : The subscriber you are trying to call does not exist
  • * 1-800-403 : Access to that subscriber was denied
  • * Error message: "Out of paper on drive D:"
  • * If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
  • * A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
  • * "Mr. Worf, scan that ship." "Aye Captain. 300 dpi?"
  • * Smith & Wesson: The Original Point And Click Interface
  • * Shout onto a newsgroup : It echoes back flames and spam
  • * Firewall : Intruder detected. (A)llow in (D)eactivate the firewall
  • * Real programmers can write assembly code in any language
  • * Warning! Perl script detected! (K)ill it , (D)eactivate it
  • * Firewall : Do you want to place a motion detector on port 80 ?
  • * Helpdesk: Sir, please refill your ink catridges Customer : Where can i download that?
  • * All computers run at the same speed... with the power off
  • * You have successfully logged in, Now press any key to log out
  • * Sorry, the password you tried is already being used by Dorthy, please try something else.
  • * Sorry, that username already exists. (O)verwrite it (C)ancel
  • * Please send all flames, trolls, and complaints to /dev/toilet
  • * Shut up, or i'll flush you out
  • * Cron : Enter cron command \ Now enter the number of minutes in an hour
  • * We are experiencing system trouble -- do not adjust your terminal
  • * You have successfully hacked in, Welcome to the FBI mainframes.
  • * I'm sorry, our software is perfect. The problem must be you
  • * Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway
  • * Webhost livehelp: Sir you ran out of bandwidth, User: Where can I download that?
  • * If Ruby is not and Perl is the answer, you don't understand the question
  • * Having soundcards is nice... having embedded sound in web pages is not
  • * My computer was full, so I deleted everything on the right half
  • * You have received a new mail which is 195537 hours old
  • * Yahoo! Mail: Your email was sent successfully. The email will delivered in 4 days and 8 hours
  • * I'm sorry for the double slash (Tim Berners-Lee in a Panel Discussion, WWW7, Brisbane, 1998)
  • * Ah, young webmaster... java leads to shockwave. Shockwave leads to realaudio. And realaudio leads to suffering
  • * What color do you want that database?
  • * C++ is a write-only language, once can write programs in C++, but I can't read any of them
  • * As of next week, passwords will be entered in Morse code
  • * earth is 98% full ... please delete anyone you can
  • * A typical yahoo chat room: "A has signed in, A has signed out, B has signed in, B has signed out, C has signed in, C has signed out.."
  • * When someone says "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I wish done," give him a lollipop
  • * Warning! No processor found! Press any key to continue
  • * Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product
  • * NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands
  • * Warning! Kernel crashed, Run for your lives !
  • * NASA uses Windows? Oh great. If Apollo 13 went off course today the manual would just tell them to open the airlock, flush the astronauts out, and re-install new one
  • * JavaScript: An authorizing language designed to make Netscape crash
  • * How's my programming? Call 1-800-DEV-NULL
  • * Yes, friends and neighbors, boys and girls - my PC speaker crashed NT
  • * root:> Sorry, you entered the wrong password, the correct password is 'a_49qwXk'
  • * New linux package released. Please install on /dev/null
  • * Quake and uptime do not like each other
  • * Unix...best if used before: Tue Jan 19 03:14:08 GMT 2038
  • * As you well know, magic and weapons are prohibited inside the cafeteria -- Final Fantasy VIII
  • * Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft...and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labo
  • * Unix is the only virus with a command line interface
  • * Windows 95 makes Unix look like an operating system
  • * How are we supposed to hack your system if it's always down!
  • * God is real, unless declared integer
  • * I'm tempted to buy the slashdot staff a grammar checker. What do they do for 40 hours a week?
  • * Paypal : Please enter your credit card number to continue
  • * It takes a million monkeys at typewriters to write Shakespeare, but only a dozen monkeys at computers to run Network Solutions
  • * Please help - firewall burnt down - lost packet - reward $$
  • * If Linux were a beer, it would be shipped in open barrels so that anybody could piss in it before delivery
  • * Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle
  • * Perl, the only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption
  • * Norton: Incoming virus - (D)ownload and save (R)un after download
  • * I had a dream... and there were 1's and 0's everywhere, and I think I saw a 2!
  • * You sir, are an unknown USB device driver
  • * C isn't that hard: void (*(*f[])())() defines f as an array of unspecified size, of pointers to functions that return pointers to functions that return void

 


Formátumok


A dokumentum megtekinthető az alábbi formátumokban is:
- Microsoft Word Document formátum: http://maxeline.hu/d4124-Geek-viccek-angolul.doc

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